Why I Started Fly By Night: Everyone Needs a Little Help

Hello, and welcome to Fly By Night! I’m so glad you’re here.

I started Fly By Night because like many brides–especially those planning their own weddings!–I spend a *lot* of time online researching wedding stuff. And I love it! You won’t hear me complain about 3am Pinterest binges dedicated solely to browsing cute sandals for the rehearsal dinner.

*However* (and this is a big however!)

Despite the endless supply of wedding resources online, I find myself asking the same questions over and over:

That dress from Pinterest is beautiful, but where can I actually buy it? (And can I afford it–and if not, does anyone carry something similar? In my size?) 

Why did none of the many advice articles I read tell me my vendor would need this one thing to feel comfortable executing my vision?

Why are there still so few resources for–or just writing about–weddings with queer couples, queer wedding parties, and queer attendees? How do you help queer loved ones feel as safe and comfortable as possible at your wedding, especially around conservative attendees?

After every one of these questions I think, I wish *somebody* had written about this. But one of the most basic (and best) snippets of writing advice is to write what you want to read but hasn’t been written yet, so finally I realized: I could write about this!

I’ve named this space Fly By Night, because a tiny, quiet truth beneath the flood of how-to articles, Pinterest boards, and all-in-one resources seems to be that a lot of us feel like we have no idea what the hell we’re doing when it comes to planning one of the biggest, most meaningful days in our lives. And it makes sense! You only plan on doing it once, no one teaches you how to do it, and there are people whose literal full time job is doing a thing many of us are scraping together in spare moments between multiple jobs and chores and still trying to have a social life. (Can you tell I’m in my thirties?)

So I want to affirm this experience of feeling like you’re floundering a little through an exciting but also big, stressful process, which is why I chose the name Fly By Night. Not only do I want to offer advice and resources I haven’t found anywhere else, but also keep things real–because everyone needs a little help, including help feeling okay about needing help.

I’m here to help you, so let’s help each other: what wedding advice would you like to find? What resources do you want that don’t seem to exist? What question do you keep asking yourself that no one has answered? I’ve love to hear your thoughts!