Info, advice, and inspiration for your affordable, inclusive, and beautiful wedding
My posts may contain affiliate links! If you buy something through one of those links, you won’t pay a cent more but but FBNW will get a small commission, which helps keep us running. Thanks!
It’s November and if you’re anything like me, you’re already excited about the holidays. Garlands and string lights, reindeer pulling sleighs on neighborhood lawns and rooftops, the first whirls of snow in the air–the whimsy of it all is irresistible. Given the rich color palettes, cozy vibes, *and* off season discounts on venues that come with winter, it’s no wonder the winter wedding is only getting more popular!
If you’re considering or planning a winter wedding, tapping into holiday traditions can add memorable warmth to your ceremony and reception. And it’ll be a lot of fun for both you and your guests! Here are five winter wedding ideas that will make your day filled with holiday magic:
1. Incorporate winter greenery and blooms into your florals.
There is *so* much creative potential here. You can incorporate poinsettias or holly berries into your bouquet for touches of winter warmth, decorate the aisles of your ceremony space with mini Christmas trees, hang pine garlands in your reception space–the options are endless! Maybe even one of these winter crowns for you or your wedding party.
2. Add the sound of holiday cheer to your processional.
Having a flower girl, ring bearer, or any pups in your ceremony? Give them jingle bells for a sprinkle of winter music as they go down the aisle! You can attach to a flower girl’s basket, a ring bearer’s pillow, incorporate into a boutonniere or wrist corsage, or attach to a collar. Melt everyone’s hearts by incorporating jingle bells into this winter wedding dog collar for an absolutely adorable wedding party pup!
3. Have a wassail toast.
Wassail, or warm spiced apple cider, is a delicious alternative to toasting with champagne during your reception. It can be made with or without alcohol–spiced rum is *so good* in wassail. Copper mugs are a beautiful option for serving wassail, but any heat-safe mug will do. (There are so many cute mug options out there it’s hard to go wrong.)
4. Gingerbread cookie decorating station.
An interactive winter wedding dessert option that’s fun for kids and grownups alike! The setup for this can range from simple to elaborate depending on how many cookie shape varieties and toppings you want to offer. You can really go all out with sprinkles, candies, beverages like egg nog and milk, and tons of winter holiday shapes! But even just your classic gingerbread man cookies and red, green, and white icing options is enough for a table everyone will enjoy.
5. Rent reindeer.
Yep, you read that right! Of course, whether there are reindeer to rent in *your* area is a case-by-case basis sorta thing, but there are businesses across the US that rent reindeer by the hour or day. Petting and hanging out with cute reindeer on your wedding day and have them in your photos sounds utterly magical.
But one thing to keep in mind: unlike many other wedding services that tend to be less in demand during the winter, reindeer rentals will be in demand for other holiday-themed events and parties. So, if this is something you want to budget for and commit to for your winter wedding, you’ll want to book a rental well in advance.
What other ideas do you have for your winter wedding? Drop in the comments!
My posts may contain affiliate links! If you buy something through one of those links, you won’t pay a cent more but but FBNW will get a small commission, which helps keep us running. Thanks!
My posts may contain affiliate links! If you buy something through one of those links, you won’t pay a cent more but but FBNW will get a small commission, which helps keep us running. Thanks!
Unless you’re an event planner extraordinaire who thrives on four hours’ sleep, planning a wedding is almost always a *little* stressful. (And often more than a little.) Juggling multiple priorities, hard budgeting decisions, and balancing family expectations with your own wants is *tiring.* Maybe even the excitement you felt after getting engaged has long fizzled out.
But it’s possible for wedding planning feel exciting and fun again! My partner and I both have anxiety and figuring out the tips I’ve listed below have helped us not only survive the process, but have fun and feel more connected with each other about what we want for our wedding. Even though the big day is getting closer and we have more to do more often, planning is still fun and exciting.
Really, these tips all revolve around a central idea: you deserve to allow yourself understanding, happiness, and friendship during the wedding planning process. So with that, let’s dive in:
1. Champagne and plan, baby
This one is so important, loves: treat yourself with something you both love that allows wedding planning to be meaningful, enjoyable time spent together.
When you and your partner encounter a budget snag with florals, or have to figure out replacing that dream photographer who fell through, or realize you *totally* forgot to account for renting glassware for your open bar, sometimes the stress gets taken out on each other. And that makes planning for your life together feel extra stressful.
A great way to remember what’s most important–that you love the other person enough to want them around for the rest of your life!–is to share something you enjoy together. This way, every time you plan you start from a place of feeling happy, relaxed, and on the same team as your partner.
And the treat is up to you! Maybe it is champagne. But it could also be your favorite takeout, coffee from your favorite spot, face masks, even your favorite funny movie playing in the background to help keep the mood light–whatever hits the spot.
2. Dessert tasting tour? Don’t mind if ~I do~ (couldn’t resist, sorry)
Look for opportunities to make fun outings out of wedding planning-related errands and include friends from your wedding party! Sure, we invite our bridal party along for dress shopping, but there are so many other opportunities to have fun with dear friends from your wedding party while planning! Invite them along for food and cake/dessert tastings. (If you can plan more than one in a day, make a day of it!) Take your person of honor who loves vintage decor to the antique mall when you hunt for ceremony aisle boho rugs on the cheap. Or if you have a simple, fun DIY (more on that in #3) they can help with, lay out the wine and snacks and invite them over for a crafting party!
Depending on the particular elements you’re including in your wedding, this can take a lot of different forms. The important thing is to let yourself think creatively about how to use wedding planning to spend more time with friends you love who make you happy.
3. Approachable, cost-contained, and bail out-able DIY
DIY-ing can help your budget and bring personalized touches to your wedding, but unless you’re already an expert in a particular craft too much DIY can become stressful and burdensome. Especially if you’re trying to DIY something that:
a) Must be done on or very close to the wedding day, i.e., anything involving fresh flowers
b) You have to make multiple of that you want to look consistent, i.e., wedding favors or again, fresh flower decor such as matching bouquets and centerpieces
c) Isn’t cost efficient vs. the non-DIY option
…then you may cause yourself *more* stress instead of less.
Instead DIYing fresh flower wedding centerpieces–which you’d have to do day of and doesn’t have a viable backup plan should something go wrong–try an approachable DIY that only requires making one or a few things ahead of time, in case you *do* need to ditch the DIY and hire a pro. Great examples include macrame ceremony arch backdrops, chair backings, and bouquet wraps; cardstock or paper installations for photo booths or above dessert tables; and spray painting cake stands and other small decor items.
Approachable, cost-contained, and bail out-able DIY that you and your love can do together–and with friends!–will make your wedding feel personalized and special without sabotaging your wellbeing.
4. Finished something stressful? Celebrate!!!
This is a *big* one.
It’s easy to tick off a wedding checklist item and immediately think about what’s next. But if you and your love finished something that required a heavy lift?
*For everything holy, take a minute and celebrate it!*
I know it can feel weird celebrating getting something done for a party that revolves around you and your love, but if we’re being real, weddings are often not *just* about you as a couple–at least from a logistical standpoint. Unless you’re eloping with just the two of you, your wedding planning probably involves a degree of making sure other people are having a good time–and that takes *work.* So when you’ve done your work, let yourselves celebrate a little! Celebrating is a way of loving yourself *and* your partner, and acknowledging your time and effort are worth something.
Are there other tips you have for easing wedding planning stress? Let me know in the comments!
(PS: Also, check out my recent post about throwing limiting expectations from others about your wedding to the wind with one of my favorite two words sentences, lol!)
My posts may contain affiliate links! If you buy something through one of those links, you won’t pay a cent more but but FBNW will get a small commission, which helps keep us running. Thanks!
Planning a wedding in 2019 is interesting–and that’s an understatement. Trends skew nontraditional and budget-friendly and more couples are breaking away from gender norms and expectations at their weddings, which is great! But some folks have expectations that conflict with shifts toward less tradition and more inclusivity. And if you have any relatives helping to pay for a wedding, obviously a clash of values can lead to real conflict.
That’s why I want to give you permission to say fuck it.
Let me be clear: I’m not saying if you compromise on one of the expectations I talk about that you’ll regret your wedding day or fail to be the perfect, free-spirited, hair-blowing-in-the-wind-boho-supermodel person getting married that you “should” be.
I’m saying you deserve the permission and affirmation that you are 100% justified to want your wedding to feel like it’s *yours.*
And by the way, none of what I talk about here is dependent on spending more money. These are all things that don’t require you to spend more–if anything, I’m giving you permission to spend *less.*
So without further ado, here are four expectations people may have about your wedding to which you can say fuck it.
1. Having (or Not Having) a First Look
First looks have become a popular way for couples to see one another and let out nervous energy before the ceremony. Some couples also choose first looks because the whole “not seeing the bride until the ceremony” tradition originates from some cringe-worthy, patriarchal BS. But for some couples, the excitement and emotional buildup to seeing each other for the first time during the ceremony is really special. (My spouse-to-be and I aren’t super traditional, but we aren’t seeing each other until the ceremony for that butterflies-in-stomach anticipation. And I’m really excited about it!)
Either way, this isn’t about anybody else but you and your love.
I’ve seen blogs that complain from the vantage point of a *guest* about couples who choose first looks. (Which like, uh, honestly, who *asked* you?) But it doesn’t matter what they or anyone else thinks! Your ceremony should be structured with you and your love’s needs and happiness in mind first and foremost. Don’t worry about trying to satisfy tradition if a first look feels right, or getting a trendy first look photo if seeing your spouse-to-be for the first time when you or they walk down the aisle means a lot to you. This part of your wedding barely affects anyone else, but can really impact you and your love’s experience of the day. So make it about *you!*
2. Wearing a Traditional Color and/or Item of Clothing
Couples creating personalized weddings are trending less traditional and more imaginative with what they wear. Brides and spouses wearing dresses are opting for bright sequins, bold colors, and informal designs. Wedding jumpsuits are making big gains in popularity. And more queer, nonbinary, gender-nonconforming folk are dressing according to who they are and what they feel like themselves wearing, not what others think they ~should~ wear.
And…that’s exactly how it should be.
Let me say that if you’re a queer person from a conservative family, for instance, you may compromise and opt to dress in line with what your family expects to protect yourself from potentially hurtful comments on the big day–and that is totally, 100% okay. Not everyone comes from supportive family environments and doing what you can to have a painless, drama-free wedding is so absolutely fine.
It’s just that, queer dear heart, I hope you don’t have to.
I hope the people who say they love you are willing to see you at your most genuine and free. I hope there’s at least one relative you have an inkling will listen–and if you *do* talk to them, I hope they respond with kindness and care.
And if they don’t? I hope you have enough support and love from other loved ones in your life to feel okay saying fuck it–and doing what feels right and genuine for you.
3. Having a Religious Ceremony
Most of us come from families with some kind of religious background. Even if you share basic beliefs with your family and loved ones, your faith overall may look much different and less traditional than your parents’ or grandparents’ religion. Lots of couples run into the expectation to incorporate religious traditions into their ceremony, and maybe that’s not an issue for you! This is another situation where I *absolutely* understand compromising to keep the peace. But if a religious ceremony–or a ceremony with religious elements that conflict with your individual beliefs–brings you more than passing discomfort, there are two *very* good reasons to say fuck it:
1. Your emotions will be running *high* during your wedding. So even if you plan to poker face through, you may not be able to conceal whatever icky feelings you’re feeling about the religious stuff, especially if you have any traumatic associations with religion.
2. If you feel uncomfortable, the people around you will likely be able to pick up on it and feel uncomfortable, too. Which kinda defeats the purpose of incorporating religious stuff to make some people feel more comfortable.
Of course, I’m not saying you need a statue of Baphomet at your wedding altar to stick it to your church-y family at your wedding (though like, if you *want* a Baphomet statue that’s pretty rad, tbh). But if you’re really attached to say, not reading any Bible verses and including a Celtic handfasting into your ceremony? Gently explain what you want and go for it.
4. Details Out the Wazoo
Who among us is immune to the charms of perfectly boho modern place setting photos on Pinterest? (I’m sure there’s *somebody* but it ain’t me.) Dreaming about details and decor can be one of the most fun parts of your wedding! So by all means, work that creative energy for your big day if that brings you joy.
But also, remember this as a kindness to yourself: most people won’t remember or care if you had chargers during the reception dinner.
I don’t mean that in a “caring about those details is stupid and trivial” way. I mean it in a “if you can’t afford to curate every last little detail with aesthetic precision because you can’t afford a planner, work two jobs, and also like eating and sleeping occasionally, your wedding will still be awesome” way.
Like, really. It will be.
I’ve been to weddings with a wide range of looks and budgets, and I don’t remember the place settings from even the most expensive plated dinner reception. By the same token, I didn’t miss those details at more casual ceremonies. What I do remember from those weddings is the joy of seeing people I cared about get married and noticing the meaningful ways couples incorporated their unique selves into their wedding day. And sure, some of that did include decor, but not dozens of different things–just a few personalized touches that made the day feel sweet and meaningful. (One of my favorite examples: the bride baked the groom’s favorite pies in place of cake and bought a variety of vintage cake stands from thrift stores to display them for affordable, functional, and pretty decor.)
So cut yourself some slack on those details! Let yourself say Fuck It to every single tiny detail needing to be perfect! There are many people don’t have the time or money to make them all happen and still have amazing, beautiful weddings. (PS: if you do care a lot about, say, pretty invitations or place settings but time and money are tight, you can put together just one setting or print one fancy invite to be photographed! Getting that Pinterest-worthy photo without the stress and cost of fancy place settings for everybody sounds like a win-win to me, tbh.)
What are some other wedding expectations you’d tell people they should just say Fuck It about? Say it in the comments! Also, don’t forget to sign up for occasional emails from Fly By Night Wedding with updates and offers from around the wedding universe.
My posts may contain affiliate links! If you buy something through one of those links, you won’t pay a cent more but but FBNW will get a small commission. Thanks!
Like probably every bride-to-be post-2010, I fantasize a *lot* about my wedding and Pinterest is my biggest enabler. (Because I *need* to pin every DIY macrame wall hanging I see, right? Right?!) But Pinterest wedding dresses are my *thing*–I’m perfectly happy browsing wedding dresses on Pinterest for hours on end!
Pinning wedding dresses might be the most fun because there are so many swoon-worthy bridal gowns to imagine yourself wearing! But wedding dress hunting on Pinterest can also be *very* frustrating: you see a dress you love, click on the pin for info on how and where to buy it, aaaaaaaand–
Nothing. Nada. Womp-womp.
I can’t count how many times I’ve clicked a wedding dress pin to see who designed it or where to buy it, only to find a clickbait article that doesn’t list designers, an Instagram photo without the designer tagged, or–my personal favorite–another pin with no info.
After so many Pinterest dead ends, I thought *somebody* had to have spilled the beans on where to find those popular Pinterest dresses, right? Nada again.
So, for all you brides who have been as baffled as me, here’s my first Beautiful Pinterest Wedding Dresses and Where to Find Them! In this post, I’ll give you the lowdown on popular pins featuring three dresses.
Dress 1: The Melanie from Flora Bridal
Who *hasn’t* swooned over this dress? It’s a stunning boho wedding gown with a long sleeve, backless silhouette that’s become (and remained) wildly popular with brides over the past few years. The intricate details on the bodice and sleeves are breathtaking.
Melanie is from Flora Bridal’s 2019 Siren of the Desert collection. Flora Bridal is based in Haifa, Israel and their dresses are carried in bridal shops throughout the U.S. You can find U.S. stores that carry Flora here. Melanie’s price tag is $4050.
Dress 2: The Amira from Immacle
While the previous dress took detective work, I stumbled on this one by total accident and was ecstatic! From the moment I saw this dress on Pinterest in the most lighthearted and fantastical wedding shoot, I adored it! I love its fringe-y bell sleeves and delicate floral lace. It strikes the perfect balance between edgy hippie and ethereal woodland goddess.
The Amira is from Barcelona label Immacle’s Senda collection. Although Immacle currently only stocks dresses in their Barcelona and Madrid showrooms, they ship worldwide. Also, their website has an e-shop page indicating it will open soon–exciting! I don’t have the exact price of the Amira, but Immacle’s gowns start at approximately $3,300. (I’ll update with exact price here if confirmed.)
Dress 3: Evalyn Bodice, Ivy Lace Overlay, and McKinley Skirt from Rebecca Schoneveld
It’s no wonder this bridal look has been getting lots of love on Pinterest. It’s relaxed yet elegant, boho yet classic, and trendy yet timeless all at once. The emotional, intimate photos of the bride with her groom beautifully showcase her entire look from lush greenery crown to chiffon skirt.
These separates can be found on the Rebecca Schoneveld website (separates toward the bottom of the page). Bridal shops nationwide also carry Schoneveld’s dresses and separates. The combined price of the Evalyn Bodice, Ivy Lace Overlay, and McKinley skirt is $2820.
Is there a Pinterest wedding dress you’re swooning over but can’t find? Let me know and I might discover your dream dress in my next Pinterest Dresses and Where to Find Them! Also, don’t forget to sign up to get my FREE “Four Places You Aren’t Shopping For Affordable Wedding Dresses (But Should)” Guide!
Plus, if you need to accessorize your beautiful Pinterest wedding dress, check out FBNW’s list of boho wedding hair accessories!
(PS: If you know the photographer for either Melanie dress photo, please let me know! I want to credit photographers for their beautiful images as much as possible.)
Hello, and welcome to Fly By Night! I’m so glad you’re here.
I started Fly By Night because like many brides–especially those planning their own weddings!–I spend a *lot* of time online researching wedding stuff. And I love it! You won’t hear me complain about 3am Pinterest binges dedicated solely to browsing cute sandals for the rehearsal dinner.
*However* (and this is a big however!)
Despite the endless supply of wedding resources online, I find myself asking the same questions over and over:
That dress from Pinterest is beautiful, but where can I actually buy it? (And can I afford it–and if not, does anyone carry something similar? In my size?)
Why did none of the many advice articles I read tell me my vendor would need this one thing to feel comfortable executing my vision?
Why are there still so few resources for–or just writing about–weddings with queer couples, queer wedding parties, and queer attendees? How do you help queer loved ones feel as safe and comfortable as possible at your wedding, especially around conservative attendees?
After every one of these questions I think, I wish *somebody* had written about this. But one of the most basic (and best) snippets of writing advice is to write what you want to read but hasn’t been written yet, so finally I realized: I could write about this!
I’ve named this space Fly By Night, because a tiny, quiet truth beneath the flood of how-to articles, Pinterest boards, and all-in-one resources seems to be that a lot of us feel like we have no idea what the hell we’re doing when it comes to planning one of the biggest, most meaningful days in our lives. And it makes sense! You only plan on doing it once, no one teaches you how to do it, and there are people whose literal full time job is doing a thing many of us are scraping together in spare moments between multiple jobs and chores and still trying to have a social life. (Can you tell I’m in my thirties?)
So I want to affirm this experience of feeling like you’re floundering a little through an exciting but also big, stressful process, which is why I chose the name Fly By Night. Not only do I want to offer advice and resources I haven’t found anywhere else, but also keep things real–because everyone needs a little help, including help feeling okay about needing help.
I’m here to help you, so let’s help each other: what wedding advice would you like to find? What resources do you want that don’t seem to exist? What question do you keep asking yourself that no one has answered? I’ve love to hear your thoughts!