Daily Archives: February 5, 2020

*deep breaths*

Ok, here goes.

When I started Fly By Night Wedding in January 2019, I stayed anonymous on purpose. And not just online! I told no one, fiancx and therapist included, that I created a wedding blog.

If FBNW failed but no one in my life knew about it, I thought, then I wouldn’t feel ashamed or embarrassed. Because if the blog failed then *I* failed, and I definitely didn’t want anyone to know that. Also, what if people thought it was vapid? Or ridiculous? More reason to hide! (See why I’ve got a therapist?)

But as a bride to be, some things felt glaringly absent from online wedding spaces:

Where to find plus size dresses outside the few well-known labels where trendy, unique dresses under $2,000 don’t exist. Dresses people on a shoestring budget can actually afford. Literally anything acknowledging that queer people get married, attend, *and* are in wedding parties, and often butt up against cisheteronormative erasure and violence in the process no matter their role in a wedding.

Navigating these things, I felt like I was making it up as I went along–and I knew I couldn’t be the only one with Bridal Imposter Syndrome. So I decided to share what I was learning and Fly By Night Wedding was born.

So now: who am I?

I’m Layne, the one in the dress, and I got married to my fiancx Mark on September 14, 2019 in Austin, Texas where we live. I moved to Austin in 2013 to get my masters in creative writing. But after a dark, difficult time in grad school (TW: intimate partner violence), the thought of writing left me sad and sickened.

Fly By Night Wedding made me excited to write again.

It’s funny–a lot of what makes me anxious about sharing FBNW with people in my life is what makes it fun to write. It’s (mostly) straightforward, quippy, and *cute.* And coming from my particular writing background, my self-consciousness about writing something “fluffy” about ~weddings of all things~ is through the roof.

But I’ve written FBNW for a *year* and before now, only told Mark and my therapist. And I don’t want to keep my little labor of love a secret anymore.

So hi, I’m Layne and I’m behind Fly By Night Wedding!

And since I started FBNW as a bride-to-be planning a wedding, here’s a bit about the big day!

• We asked two dear friends (who are married to each other) to be in our wedding parties–and instead of a ring bearer or flower girl, their angelic dog Zooey walked down the aisle!
• Instead of religious texts, two beautiful poet friends read poems during the ceremony.
• My brother played the ceremony music. The processional was “Table For Glasses” and recessional “For Me This Is Heaven,” both by Jimmy Eat World, because I’m a sentimental emo kid. (I got lyrics from Table For Glasses tattooed on my ribs the first time M visited me from 700 miles away and we made it official!)
• Tame longhorn cattle live on the venue grounds and they are so PRECIOUS
• I bought my original wedding dress from BHLDN for less than $200 and had it customized with armbands, a front slit, and pockets!  But six months of aerials training later, my shoulders didn’t fit the dress and alterations weren’t realistic. Thankfully, I stumbled upon Reclamation Design Company and ended up with a dreamy custom made vintage lace gown! (Got my reception dress from Two Sisters the Label and it is utterly perfect/could be a wedding dress in and of itself.)
• Mark *insisted* we have a mac’n’cheese station because I love it so much. <3
• We changed our first dance song at the last minute. Daniel Johnston died three days before the wedding and we watched The Devil and Daniel Johnston together. After talking about his music’s presence in our lives, without having to ask each other, we decided to change our first dance to Johnston’s “True Love Will Find You in the End.”

And now pics!

(All photos by Donny Tidmore Photography)