Unless you’re an event planner extraordinaire who thrives on four hours’ sleep, planning a wedding is almost always a *little* stressful. (And often more than a little.) Juggling multiple priorities, hard budgeting decisions, and balancing family expectations with your own wants is *tiring.* Maybe even the excitement you felt after getting engaged has long fizzled out.
But it’s possible for wedding planning feel exciting and fun again! My partner and I both have anxiety and figuring out the tips I’ve listed below have helped us not only survive the process, but have fun and feel more connected with each other about what we want for our wedding. Even though the big day is getting closer and we have more to do more often, planning is still fun and exciting.
Really, these tips all revolve around a central idea: you deserve to allow yourself understanding, happiness, and friendship during the wedding planning process. So with that, let’s dive in:
This one is so important, loves: treat yourself with something you both love that allows wedding planning to be meaningful, enjoyable time spent together.
When you and your partner encounter a budget snag with florals, or have to figure out replacing that dream photographer who fell through, or realize you *totally* forgot to account for renting glassware for your open bar, sometimes the stress gets taken out on each other. And that makes planning for your life together feel extra stressful.
A great way to remember what’s most important–that you love the other person enough to want them around for the rest of your life!–is to share something you enjoy together. This way, every time you plan you start from a place of feeling happy, relaxed, and on the same team as your partner.
And the treat is up to you! Maybe it is champagne. But it could also be your favorite takeout, coffee from your favorite spot, face masks, even your favorite funny movie playing in the background to help keep the mood light–whatever hits the spot.
Look for opportunities to make fun outings out of wedding planning-related errands and include friends from your wedding party! Sure, we invite our bridal party along for dress shopping, but there are so many other opportunities to have fun with dear friends from your wedding party while planning! Invite them along for food and cake/dessert tastings. (If you can plan more than one in a day, make a day of it!) Take your person of honor who loves vintage decor to the antique mall when you hunt for ceremony aisle boho rugs on the cheap. Or if you have a simple, fun DIY (more on that in #3) they can help with, lay out the wine and snacks and invite them over for a crafting party!
Depending on the particular elements you’re including in your wedding, this can take a lot of different forms. The important thing is to let yourself think creatively about how to use wedding planning to spend more time with friends you love who make you happy.
DIY-ing can help your budget and bring personalized touches to your wedding, but unless you’re already an expert in a particular craft too much DIY can become stressful and burdensome. Especially if you’re trying to DIY something that:
a) Must be done on or very close to the wedding day, i.e., anything involving fresh flowers
b) You have to make multiple of that you want to look consistent, i.e., wedding favors or again, fresh flower decor such as matching bouquets and centerpieces
c) Isn’t cost efficient vs. the non-DIY option
…then you may cause yourself *more* stress instead of less.
Instead DIYing fresh flower wedding centerpieces–which you’d have to do day of and doesn’t have a viable backup plan should something go wrong–try an approachable DIY that only requires making one or a few things ahead of time, in case you *do* need to ditch the DIY and hire a pro. Great examples include macrame ceremony arch backdrops, chair backings, and bouquet wraps; cardstock or paper installations for photo booths or above dessert tables; and spray painting cake stands and other small decor items.
Approachable, cost-contained, and bail out-able DIY that you and your love can do together–and with friends!–will make your wedding feel personalized and special without sabotaging your wellbeing.
This is a *big* one.
It’s easy to tick off a wedding checklist item and immediately think about what’s next. But if you and your love finished something that required a heavy lift?
*For everything holy, take a minute and celebrate it!*
I know it can feel weird celebrating getting something done for a party that revolves around you and your love, but if we’re being real, weddings are often not *just* about you as a couple–at least from a logistical standpoint. Unless you’re eloping with just the two of you, your wedding planning probably involves a degree of making sure other people are having a good time–and that takes *work.* So when you’ve done your work, let yourselves celebrate a little! Celebrating is a way of loving yourself *and* your partner, and acknowledging your time and effort are worth something.
Are there other tips you have for easing wedding planning stress? Let me know in the comments!
(PS: Also, check out my recent post about throwing limiting expectations from others about your wedding to the wind with one of my favorite two words sentences, lol!)